Benny's blog

2011-01-26T20:45:00.002-06:00

"Happy birthday to me! happy birthday to me!" I sang in on this lonely day of the year, while looking at myself in the multiple mirrors I had set in on the table reflecting what seemed little of me, next to the bright candle I had turned on top of a cupcake. "Oh How beautiful it is" I think thought of this wonderful light, I will leave this bright candle on until it reaches the bottom and out it being of its last breath it will forever goes out. "How lucky of that candle light, that gets to live a beautiful but short life", I thought while I'm i was in front of the mirrors in the middle of the night. Little by little the candle got closer to the pastry until it finally blew out leaving me in complete darkness on to every side. I don't feel like moving, I don't feel like eating, I just sit there staring at where, behind the darkness I believe is the cupcake where my beautiful birthday candle used to stand so elegantly, proudly, still like the air around me.

Only sirens are heard every twenty or thirty minutes when they pass by at a distance, letting a few rays of red and blue pass through the closed curtains. While staring at the dark I see a constant blue blinking light coming from my old cellphone 6 feet away, I don't even consider standing up to get it,. I'm sure nobody is going to bother sending a message or giving me a call at any time this evening.

So there I sat in front of my cupcake for 24 hours until my birthday passed. I threw that cupcake in the trash can, I broke those mirrors with my gun, I burned that chair I sat on, and gave away my cell-phone to the first random person I saw.

In my mind only one thing remained of those dreadful 24 hours, the time I spent carefully watching my beautiful candle breathe with all its might, to the moment it left me surrounded by night, taking with it every drop of beauty and peace from my birthday night

...

I tell this from an asylum, I now believe that candle took with it my soul and sanity.

I burnt a few buildings, some people died, I didn't mean to hurt them, I just wanted the fire of that one candle to comfort me again. I burnt more than a few looking for it, but all i saw between the flames was violence and rage, the bigger the flames the more lonely lonelier i felt. Where is that candle light that comforted me for that peaceful hour in the middle of the night I wondered all the time while burning the city down.

As how it happens when one I some one becomes desperate, I started to get out of control. I was being clumsy and dumb, blinded by the hope of finding the warmth I felt with my that birthday candle that night.

...

Eventually I got caught... Ever since my birthday I can only see, hear and smell the flames, but such irony! they are cold as a dead body maybe freezing like the ice. As silent as the sea and as smelly as a rock.

I'm only left with complete desperation now, a blank mind full only of those flames that I once saw burn hundreds of feet in the air. This feeling must have a word to it,; this feeling is so clear yet so vague! What is this feeling? Why do I have so much of it? it doesn't feel like passion it doesn't feel like love.

Oh! I know now. It is hate what blinds me! I think I can live like this forever, locked up with a feeling that I understand and understands me back.

Now be gone! turn of the lights in your way out and never come back in here unless you bring my old friend the candle which grace kept me up that one night.

...

I died soon after, maybe a year or two later. In the other world I can only think of how my life could have remained empty until the day I vanished had it not been for my precious candle light.

Just something I wrote at 2 am on the 20th of jan.. I wasn't going to post it here because you all will think I'm mad, but for the praise it has gotten I am blinded by my pride and my wanting of offering you a interesting time. here is my work and a little of my mind. Don't think to much of it, it was just inspired by the day I had. ~Benjamin Turok

RLSLOG is Very good.

2010-01-24T21:52:00.001-06:00

One of the best sites to find the newest tv show, games and movies for download across multiple hosting sites thanks to the helpful community that is constantly posting links to your favorite hosting servers such as megaupload, hotfile, rapidshare and many others of the download you are looking for.

in reference to: Releaselog | RLSLOG.net (view on Google Sidewiki)

Games

2009-02-04T12:19:00.004-06:00

RollerCoaster Tycoon 3
BattleField 2142 (download)
Command & Conquer

MUSIC

2009-01-19T14:43:00.005-06:00

Music To remember For later hearing.
Artist-Composer / Title / OTHER-interpreters/Disponibility

Classical
-Sarasate,p / Carmen Fantasy Op.23 / Rachel Baraton/NO

Latino
Cuartelo de nos/me amo//no

Others
Jason Braz/Im yours//no
Haggard///no
Simple Plan///no

Tv shows

2008-10-11T03:03:00.040-05:00

This is a reference to check through http://www.pogdesign.co.uk/cat/
http://links-tv-series.blogspot.com/

Already Watched
24 Season 7:4
Lost Season 5:11
Greek Season 2:
Prison Break Season 4:
Bones Season 4:
Stargate Atlantis Season 5:
Smallville Season 8:finished
Heroes Season 3:finished
Two and a half men season 6:
my name is earl season 4:
Greys Anatomy Season 5:
The simpsons season 20:5
Desperate Housewives Season 5:
Family Guy Season 7:10
American Dad Season 1:3
Californication Season 2:finished
Chuck Season 2:1
Life Season 2:8
Numb3rs Season 5:
The Clone Wars Season 1:
CSI Season 9:1
South Park Season 13:6
Weeds season 2:finished

Just some anime/manga links

2008-07-24T01:02:00.002-05:00

http://www.animenfo.com/
http://www.tv-links.cc/anime/
http://freewebs.com/anime-packed/
http://www.anime-ds.com/anime.php
http://that.animeblogger.net/
http://www.zomganime.com/
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/
http://www.animea.net
http://m33w-fansubs.com
http://www.animesquish.com
http://www.diverse-anime.net/
http://www.animenfo.com/
http://www.mangatraders.com/
http://www.kesenai.net/
http://ifyouwas.com/default.php
http://akho.wordpress.com/
http://animecalendar.net/
http://shoku-dan.org/
http://www.chihiro-subs.com/

Almost time to go

2008-07-23T18:07:00.003-05:00

Lets Start where it started
4 months ago i was chatting with my cousin on msn and as i was asking her about her plan of akshara^[1], she suddenly just asked, "why dont i go too". i thought it for about 1 minute and i thought, "hell! why not?". So as soon as i decided to do so by the next day i was already at the sojnut^[2] asking what do i need to do:

Fill out a bunch of papers for the visa
Fill out a bunch of papers for the sojunt
Fill out a bunch of papers for the scholarship
Go to the doctor for a phisical evaluation and some vaccines.
And go to a therapist for an evaluation (i did the list just to make a funny on this point)

Well, the therapist's evaluation went as i expected... *cough*lies*cough*. She thought i was crazy and that i should be in a crazy people place... and since that was the plan from the beggining I said, "COOL!" (if you didn't get the joke, you could be smarter). Anyway, she talked with my former therapist and asked her to review a couple of things with me. We did! and it was unsurprisingly dull. We basically went over what my worries are and how would i resolve them (again). REALLY?!?! yes, i just talked out loud what i already knew i would do if any of those things where to happen.
Well... finishing with this chapter, i finished with all the requirements but accidentally missed one last physiological evaluation (i forgot, and i don't care if you believe me or not). So that's my last worry (since I'm not completely sure if it was needed or not).

Now moving to the present
So today im 4 nights away from leaving for more or less a year (though that's the plan it could also extend up to MAX. two years... i doubt it). And this is the longest, farthest and most independent trip away from home I've ever planned. So i have mixed feelings about it, I'm not sure if im excited, worried, scared, impatient, happy, angry or all of the above.
Im still packing, to finish, im just waiting for a call from the travel agency to ask if i can take 2 bags and what would be the cost for extra weight or extra bag.
I still need to buy some things and get some other stuff together. which I'll write down right here for everyone's enjoyment (Though everyone at this moment is pretty much myself).

Buy deodorant
Buy Allergy/Asthma Medicine
Get my international student card
Buy some drops for my eyes
Get sun glasses
Get electric converter (probably will buy it at the airport)
Find a small lock i bought (or but it again)
something something something
Not Going crazy
putting myself together (i feel like im a small mess at the moment)

Well, if everything goes OK ill be writing another journal entry in maybe 10 days or so. with probably some or allot of pictures and what not... depends on whether or not someone steals my cheap camera, my cheap laptop or im physically capable of doing so. The laptop is old and is worth at most 250-300 dollars and the camera is new but worth less than 200 (though it's a pretty good camera: powershot a720 is). Im not so worried about their worth, but im very worried about their value, since im "addicted" to anime/tv, like to play some simple games, pretty much need skype, read/write my e-mails, search for places or do any other type of info search; the crappy computer im taking has a value of millions to me. And the camera, i pretty much would like to have some solid record about my trip. plus i want to be able to share the pictures on my blog :). By physically capable i mean that maybe my plane might crash. or the bus, or i might be under agonizing pain from Forced labor, or partying. (to many or's :P)

WELL! at last and more than likely least
Adios. Write you lateR!

p.s. i feel im sending a card in a bottle to the ocean hoping that someone will read this but pretty much knowing that probably nobody will.
^{[1]Akshara: Is a custom often practiced by my religion where as a young man or woman you leave to a far away country to identify yourself, relate to our people and be independent. (i don't know the actual meaning)}
^{[2]Sojnut: Just the name of the institution organizing this "religious" expirience (it has an actual meaning which i dont know either)}

Superpowers: Favorite to least favorite.

2008-07-07T16:53:00.002-05:00

I just retook the superpower likeness quiz from facebook and i thought it would be cool to post ,y answer here.

In Order put your favorite to least favorite superpower (they give you 10 superpower that they chose and you have to organize them from which would you like to have the most to which you would like to have the least):

Time Travel
Mind Reading
Telekinesis
Super Speed
Invisibility
x-ray vision
invulnerability
Super Strength
Flying
Shape shifting

Basically I ordered them following my money and power(political) ambition.

Anime: Yellow & Red: Dont recommend much and dont even think about it.

2008-07-04T15:28:00.003-05:00

samurai champloo - Comments:
Grave Of The Fireflies (movie) (heavy) - Comments:
Love Love - Comments:
Revolutionary Girl Utena - Comments:
HIGH SCHOOL GIRL - Comments:
Special A - comments: didnt quite enjoy it that much. it had its fun parts tho. sometimes things just became overly exaggerated. could have definetly jumped this anime.

----------------------------------------

Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight! - Comments:

Anime: Black: Neutral

2008-07-04T15:02:00.003-05:00

school days - Comments:
hikaru no go - Comments:
Onegai Twins - Comments:
onegai teacher - Comments:
GTO - Comments:
AH! my goddess - Comments:
Ranma 1/2 - Comments:
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Comments:
futari echi - Comments:
The Girl Who Leapt through Time (movie) - Comments:
5 Centimeters Per Second (movie) - Comments:
Love Hina - Comments:
kanokon - Comments:
Shigofumi: Letters from the Departed - Comments:
The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? (movie) - Comments:
Sekirei - Comments: Quite enjoyable. Some hot scenes makes it intresting and some action scenes make it fun. ha ha. its good to pass time. dont regret watching it. if season 2 comes ill watch it.

Black Means i liked it. Some in black i might have liked as much as any other but just dont feel its something really special. but i still recommend watching them as they are quite good anyway.

Anime: Pink: I recommend a little more than black. (just a little)

2008-07-04T14:27:00.008-05:00

Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien Hanbun - Comments:
no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora - Comments:
Full Moon wo Sagashite - Comments:
Elfen Lied - Comments: 1 word-GORE
Iriya No Sora - UFO No Natsu - Comments:
sola - Comments:
true tears - Comments:
Kurenai - Comments:
h2o- footprints in the sand - Comments:
Myself; Yourself - Comments:
Shuffle! - Comments:
Saikano - Comments:
paradise kiss - 9/8/9 - Comments: Very artistic anime that i was able to really enjoy. But i didnt really have any other anime to compare to until i found NANA. It hooks you up around the 5th episode. but might bore you untill then... I found it really worth it.

Anime: Blue: High Recommendation

2008-07-04T13:50:00.004-05:00

Canvas 2: Niji Iro no Sketch - 8/9/8 - Comments:
spirited away (movie) - 9/8/8 - Comments:
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (season 1) - 9/8/10 - Comments: don't ask why
ef - a tale of memories - 8/8/9 - Comments:
Eureka Seven - 9/8/10 - Comments:
Vampire Knight (season 1) - 9/9/9 -Comments:

Tho some or all of them have a pretty high rating (tho it might be contradicting with the color) they just felt more blue than green in color. but at the time of rating them they might have felt higher in numbers... complicated...

Anime: Green: Masterpiece or close(Have to watch)

2008-07-04T02:25:00.007-05:00

NANA - 10/10/10 - Comments. From the creators of my previous favorite anime paradise kiss this one is much better from the first couple of episodes... I couldn't have enjoyed myself more watching this anime. paradise kiss is good but after watching this one i understood it didn't deserve to be named a masterpiece....
Code geass - 10/10/10 - Comments: Dont think i can live much longer anymore... i dont have this program to live for. just kidding. but seriously. the best program ever. definetly one of the best endings ive seen in an anime. great story line through out the hole 2 seasons (exept for filler episodes). if you havent watched this then you cant call yourself an anime fan.
Monster - 9/8/9 - Comments:
Death Note - 10/8/8 - Comments:

Green Means That it is REALLY good and you should definitely watch it.

Animes ive watched.

2008-06-14T00:21:00.069-05:00

Watching as it comes: followup at animelist.net

Itazura na Kiss / FINISHED
To love ru / FINISHED
Macross Frontier/ Finished
Kamen No Maid Guy / Being Subbed.. (11)
Gunslinger Girl: Il / being subbed (second season somewhere)
telepathy shojuo ran/ 4
Nabari no Ou/ 19
One Piece /381
World Destruction/3
NANA manga/ 79 chapter
ef - a tale of melodies/5
Vampire Knight Guilty (second season) / 9
xxxHoLiC Kei / 13

Recommendations (to watch):

To check:
Shaman king

Red Means i don't recommend at all.
Yellowish means it was ok but i wouldnt recommend it much because it was either really strong, it had a dumb story, was really confusing or it was just a bit boring.
Black Means i liked it. Some in black i might have liked as much as any other but just dont feel its something really special. but i still recommend watching them as they are quite good anyway.
Pink Means i recommend it a bit more than black (just a bit)
Blue Means i recommend it allot.
Green Means it is a "HAVE TO WATCH". (Masterpiece or close)

RAITING: rating based on story, level of recommendation, and how much i liked/enjoyed it. the rating will appear on the comment side of the title from 1 to 10. for example 4/6/8 meaning story/level of recommendation/How much i liked-enjoyed it.
The Rating will always apear in purple and/or next to the title.

P.S. i believe i started my addiction to animes around April 2008. Meaning ive watched all the above since then. except ranma that i watched long ago.

Firefox 2 and Me

2007-11-18T20:48:00.001-06:00

Firefox 2 And ME.
Just Another Love Story. And like any other love story it has its downs and ups, its pros & cons, and its unresolved issues.

First, I just love the fact that its not Microsoft, but also, i feel it works better and faster than IE.
Second, I didn't stand the "find" feature of IE, it is so annoying an lame, in the other hand Firefox search feature makes my world go round, thats really one of the genuine reasons why i prefer Firefox 10 times over IE.
Third and about the same importance of second, "ADD-ONS". add-ons are one of the things that really set Firefox apart from any other browser. I have about 25 add-ons installed, one important thing to remember (at least for me) is that if an add-on interferes with your surfing experience then its a bad add-on, what i mean is that an add-on has to integrate with firefox so they become ONE, it has to feel right in you gut.
Fourth, Security? Many say Firefox password manager security is pretty bad. This might be true if a low-medium expirienced hacker where to use your computer(or hack into it). If not then i think setting the Firefox master password should do the trick of protecting your passwords from your family in general. But if your very concerned about the subject you should consider getting an external application or "Firefox add-on" to control your passwords.

CONS:
1/3: For some reason when i use it, sometimes (once every couple of days), something happens and it Doesn't load anything. Tho a quick browser restart will fix the problem this can be sometimes very annoying.
2/3: Today I had to delete my profile because i accidentally put my ".torrent files" to "always save to disk". Funny thing is that while typing this i just found out how to fix that problem, Just Go To Tools>Options>Content>File types.. (maybe i was a little impatient.)
3/3: For some reason Firefox does not always open my ".torrent" files automatically with Utorrent even tho i specifically said to do so.

My Add-ons List:
Adblock Plus
Addictive typing lessons
Calculator
Chatzilla
ColorfulTabs
Colorzilla
CustomizeGoogle
DownThemAll!
Extended Statusbar
Fasterfox
Febe
Fire Ftp
Foxmarks Bookmark Synchronizer
Gmarks
Google Calendar Quick Add
Google Images Re-Linker
Google Preview
Google toolbar for firefox
IE tab
Linkification
MeasureIt
Mouse Gestures
PDF Downlad
Tab Catalog
Tab mix plus
Tab Scope
Time Tracker
Video Downloader (Currently not working, In Sandbox mode)
Web mail notifier